In my life-long search for God, I have not only studied the religions of various cultures, but have also studied the beliefs of nearly every mainstream Christian church, and have attended many of their services as well. Besides studying the history of Christianity and the origins of the Bible, which have always fascinated me, I’ve also studied the occults and at one point, was almost drawn into a place that would’ve been very difficult to break away from. Luckily, I was smart enough to recognize the wrong path before it was too late.

Unknown to a lot of my friends, I bought my very first Bible when I was about twelve years old, and I not only read but spent hours in my room, studying it diligently. Years later, I would talk with God as if He was right there beside me, asking Him to guide me and to help me understand what I was reading.

This does not mean that I had a perfect childhood—far from it. There are many things that I would gladly do over again … things I wished I had never done, but then again, it’s those things we’re ashamed of that has also helped us to learn lessons and grow into who we are today … hopefully for the better.

When I was about nineteen or twenty, I talked with a number of pastors and ministers about the teachings of Christ, and this is where I found that everyone would tell me the same things regarding some matters, but more often than not, they would greatly differ on other important issues. Many times, they couldn’t even answer my questions. They all claimed to be Christ’s church, but yet, they didn’t seem to have solid answers and taught various interpretations of the doctrines, which only caused a lot of confusion for me. Even as a child going to church with friends, I noticed some of the differences in each denomination.

Moreover, the Christians I knew didn’t act like the Christians I read about in the Bible. I watched them closely and found that many would return from church and carry on with foul language and using the Lord’s name in vain. They seemed to think nothing of lying, cheating, or stealing, and I often wondered why they even bothered going to church in the first place if they didn’t even make the effort to follow Christ’s example. I began to view them all as hypocrites and tried even harder to find answers. I knew that none of us were perfect, but felt that if we professed to be Christians then we should at least make the effort to follow Christ’s example in the way we lived.

My ultimate showdown with God came in 1976, about four years after my dad had passed away in February 1972. By this time, I was angry, hurt, and just mad as hell that after all the searching I had been doing throughout the years, I had received no answers to my questions. My soul, at that time, was in such miserable pain, grief, and agony, for I had been carrying around a great burden of guilt that I could never forgive myself for, and I began to doubt that God even existed at all. I felt that He could care less for mankind and that He wasn’t living up to His word.  After all, He’s the one who said that if we seek Him, we shall find Him. Why then, would He not answer when we did so?

I later found that spiritual truths aren’t just handed to us on a silver platter. They aren’t fully contained in books, and even though we may find some of them there, we will never find them all. To fully understand the reality of truth, I believe we have to experience it. Spiritual things are matters of the heart and not of the mind. Over the years, I’ve discovered that sacrifice and obedience are two keys that unlock spiritual truths and blessings, and along with sincere prayer … the more we’re willing to sacrifice and obey God’s will, the more truth will be revealed to us.

For years, I have kept my story to myself, only telling a few close friends and family members because I have found that people who have never experienced these types of things will never be able to understand them. To them, they sound crazy so they can’t possibly be true. They judge, laugh, tease, bash, and persecute because people tend to fear things that they don’t understand. There is nothing worse than a closed heart and mind … something the scriptures refer to as stiff-necked and hard-heartedness. Such people are usually full of pride and arrogance in their own knowledge so they are unteachable because they can’t listen to anything that differs from their own point of view. Pride stands in the way of many things these days, it seems. It’s one of the biggest banes of society, and can be found in every religion, every church, culture, or person to some degree.

I know that many of you will find these things hard to read because they may not conform to what you have been taught traditionally. Please understand that I’m not trying to offend you, cut you down, bash your beliefs or anything like that. Just as others have shared their stories, testimonies, and experiences … I am now sharing mine here on this site—including the feelings I had at the time, with the hope that they will benefit someone along the way. You are free to take from them what you will or to ignore them completely.

I do hope, however, that you will read this with an open mind and humble heart, setting aside all pride, and turn to our Father in Heaven for answers. With God, our Heavenly Father; His Son Jesus Christ; and the angels in heaven as my witnesses … I promise, with all sincerity and soberness of mind and spirit, that the experiences that I’m sharing with you here are real. They really happened, and I know beyond all reason and doubt, that they are true. If we can only begin to know how to unlock the spiritual blessings that are waiting for us, we would be so utterly amazed at how little we truly understand.

These discoveries and experiences are the most precious gifts that I can leave behind for you, my family, friends, and other readers, whoever you may be. Take from them what you will, and may God bless each one of you in your own journey. As you look at world conditions today, you may know that time is running out.

With love,

Dee Wallis