We Are Saved By Belief and Not By Our Works

I learned that a lot of denominations only BELIEVE in Jesus Christ and that was enough … that we didn’t have to do any good works because our works don’t matter. I was told that we are saved by grace alone, just by our belief in him. Well, I knew that in some places in the Bible it did say that if we believe we will have eternal life, that we are saved by grace, and that Jesus died for the sins of all men. But I also knew that Christ expected us to follow his example and live as he lived … that we were to let go of our own will and desires and submit ourselves to God’s will by keeping and obeying His laws and commandments.

This was something that was stressed over and over throughout both the Old and New Testaments. How could people not see that? I was totally flabbergasted! There it was as plain as day to me, yet no one else could even see it, or if they did, they just seemed to totally dismiss it altogether!

I loved that my Bible had the words that Christ spoke written in red. I especially recalled the words of Jesus as he gave his Sermon on the Mount, in which he mainly spoke of our doing righteous works and keeping the commandments of God. He warns us not to be hypocrites by saying one thing in public and then doing another … he is teaching us how to live our lives and tells us to be perfect even as our Father in Heaven is perfect.

We cannot serve two masters and must choose either one or the other and those who hear his words and do them are likened to a wise man whereas those who choose not to do them are as a foolish man. He even says in Matthew 7:21 that not everyone who claims to be a Christian will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only those who DO the will of the Father. He also mentions that he will tell those who do the works of iniquity to depart from him, that he never knew them.

I recalled how after he was crucified and was no longer here upon the earth, Christ’s apostles continued to teach his doctrines and were constantly telling the members of his church to keep and obey the commandments of God, that we will be judged according to our works (Revelations 20:12–13; James 2:17–24). And throughout the Old and New Testaments people were told how to live, what to do and what not to do … and when they obeyed the laws and commandments of God they were blessed, and when they didn’t they were either chastised and punished, or in many cases, destroyed. That much was as clear as day and night to me.

I don’t know how many times I must have read Christ’s sermon on the mount. How his words could be construed to mean anything different was beyond my comprehension. I couldn’t for the life of me, understand why people thought we were saved just by believing and not doing the things Christ and his apostles taught. How could they not see these things when that was mainly what his whole sermon was about? How then, can we be saved by just believing alone?

It seemed to me that there must be some other pieces of the puzzle that were missing, but I didn’t know what it could be. Deep down in my gut, however, it just didn’t seem right somehow, and I struggled over this issue quite a bit. Why would there be so much contradiction regarding these things and why would people choose the easiest way possible? To me, it just seemed too easy … more like the broad and easy path where the gate is wide, rather than the straight and narrow one. Was I the only one who had thoughts and questions like these? Surely there must be others who had these same questions as well.

The Holy Trinity

Another doctrine that I just couldn’t seem to wrap my head around was the idea that God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost were all the same being, just manifested in different forms. In my mind, God was our Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ was His Begotten Son and our Savior and to me, they were clearly two separate beings. And although I never really fully understood what the Holy Ghost was, I knew that it was something that could be found within us if we let it.

If you’ll remember, my dad’s explanation of God way back when I was three had left me thinking He was like a giant eyeball in the sky, watching us. After reading the Bible myself, however, I had finally understood them to be three totally separate entities and that we were made in the image of God and that Jesus was also in the image of God, and when I thought of our Father in Heaven, I pictured him as a man like Jesus (the literal Father of Christ, and the literal Father of our spirits).

So when I first heard about the Trinity doctrine I was completely blown away. How could they all be one and the same being … God was Jesus when He manifested Himself as a man, and Jesus was God when he was in Spirit, and the Holy Ghost was just another way that God revealed Himself? This really got my mind dizzy again, just trying to comprehend all of this. What would be the point of it all?

I distinctly remembered reading about Jesus’ baptism when he was standing right there in the water and a voice from heaven announced him, saying, “This is my Beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” (Matthew 3:17; Mark 1:11) Jesus was in the water, the voice, a separate voice, came from heaven, and the Holy Ghost was manifested as a dove. There were three separate things going on here so how could they all be one individual? It just sounded so absurd to me.

I thought if Jesus is the Son of God then how could he be the Father of himself? Why then, did he pray to himself when he hung on the cross? Why did he do what he has seen himself do when he claims he’s only done the works that his Father did? (John 8:38) And in Matthew 6:1 and many other places as well (John 10:32, 5:17, 10:37, 14:12; 2 Peter 1:17), Jesus specifically talks of his Father in Heaven, referring to Him as a separate person or being. Why would he do this if he WAS the same being? It sounded like some sort of mythical god out of one of my fairytale books or something, and I couldn’t believe that so many adults could believe such a concept.

It was at this point that I began to wonder who wrote the Bible? How did it get from the ancient days to our time, and why is it so confusing? Why would God or Jesus Christ say one thing in one place, and the total opposite in another? It just didn’t make sense. Why would they want to fool or confuse us, but yet, want us to get to know them?

Nevertheless, I continued to go to church now and then with my friends. One day, one of them told me that they used to go to the Wesleyan Church, which was one of the bigger churches in the area. They changed churches though because her mom was mad at the pastor. Apparently a couple of church members (a mom and a dad) were killed in a car accident and the pastor had told the surviving children that God was punishing them for being bad, disobedient children. I never went to the Wesleyan Church, but I later went to just about every major denomination you could think of.

Some believed you had to get baptized while others didn’t. Some believed you must be baptized by being totally immersed in water like Jesus was while others believed that sprinkling water on the forehead was the way to do it. Some believed this and others believed that, and later on, as my life seemed to get more entangled in the briars of wayward paths, I found myself getting so angry with God that I completely turned away from Him and started exploring other paths that would eventually lead to the dark side of things.